He used to swivel his hips but now he tucks in his tummy. The average British man boasts a beer gut and an "apple" shape, with his waistline often wobbling beyond his hips, according to a study of 38,000 adults.
While most women have retained a traditional "pear-shaped" figure, a growing number are joining the rotund ranks of the men. Little Ms Average in Northern Ireland, north-east England, East Anglia and Wales has also swelled into an apple shape.
The findings are a concern because people with an apple profile are at higher risk of developing conditions such as coronary heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure and diabetes. Anti-obesity campaigners warned last week that measuring your waistline is a better indicator of health prospects than checking the bathroom scales.
Apple shapes are defined as a waist to hip ratio of 0.95 and above for a man and 0.85 and over for a woman, according to the health and fitness website DailyDietTracker.co.uk, which studied the waist and hip measurements. The ratio is calculated by dividing the waist by the hip measurement.
Men in north-west England boast the most rounded apple shape, with a ratio of 1.02, based on an average 37-inch (94cm) waist and 36.2-inch (92cm) hips. While men in the Midlands boast bigger guts, with an average waist size of 39.3 inches, their ratio of 1.01 is marginally smaller because they also have bigger hips, averaging 38.9 inches.
Men in Scotland, north-east England, Wales, south-west England, Yorkshire and Lincolnshire, and Northern Ireland all had an average ratio of above 0.95 and were therefore apple-shaped.
Most women in the survey were pear-shaped, with an average waist measurement of 30.7 inches and hips of 40.5 inches, giving a ratio of 0.76. But women in Northern Ireland were most likely to be apple-shaped, with an average 28.7 inch waist and 32.6 inch hips in the survey, a 0.88 ratio.
Anthony Barnett, professor of medicine at Birmingham University, said last week men with waists of more than 40 inches and women with waistlines measuring more than 35 inches are "at an incredibly high risk" of developing type 2 diabetes and heart disease.
Apples and pears used to be something cockneys walked up, and it is a lack of exercise that has helped turn adults into such rotten specimens.
"Whether it's a beer belly for men or a tummy on women, both sexes know that uncomfortable feeling of carrying extra weight round the middle," said DailyDietTracker.co.uk's Jacqueline Hewitt, a dietician. "But now with the known associated health risks there's an extra reason to shift that weight. Increasing exercise levels is the best method to reduce waist to hip ratio."
Men in particular may blench at Ms Hewitt's prescriptions: "Try aerobics, yoga, pilates, and exercises such as sit-ups and curls to convert your apple into a pear."
