How do I come out to my colleagues?
The truth is, there are so many pressures on the outside that push us to stay in the closet, and so many pressures on the inside that push us to come out. The closet can be a safe, comfortable place, and, at the same time, lonely and miserable. Eventually the inside starts to look like a Rubik's Cube - only you know the right pattern that will match up all the colours.

Think of all the people you work with. Who do you think would handle the news best? Is there someone you talk to more than others? Is there any watercooler conversationalist you are particularly fond of? If there is, then start with them. There is no rule in the pink-triangle guide to coming out that you must wear a rainbow flag cap and organise a full band parade. These are my no-fail steps to coming out:

1) Make the decision. Tell yourself that you will come out. This means becoming comfortable with the thought of your co-workers knowing about your sexuality. Be prepared for any reaction, including the good ones (when my mom hugged me, and said, "Six, one, half a dozen, the other" - Arkansas speak for "It's all the same to me"), the awkward (the time my aunt asked me, "How y'all do it?" in the middle of thanksgiving dinner), and the ugly ("I feel so sorry for all my gay friends who are going to hell," which was said to my best friend by a mutual friend).

2) Pick that one person you like the most at work - that one person who always asks you to go for a smoke or to get a coffee with them at breaktime. Use your instincts. Getting the cat out of the bag is the hardest part and once you've overcome the initial fear of getting it through your teeth, it will get easier and easier.

3) Don't get too down on yourself for having told lies about your sexuality. If you find yourself having to untell some of those lies, just know that, even if it doesn't make sense to others, it was all you could do to feel safe at the time. That being said, now is a good time to learn how to tell the truth. Like I say, start small.

4) Don't be discouraged by any close-minded reactions. My mother has the best advice of all in these situations. It goes like this: they can't kill you and eat you, no matter what, and, if they do, you're probably not the one people need to be worried about . . . What would you rather be, a cannibal or a lesbian? A lesbian? Yeah, that's what I thought!

· Whether it's "How can I break up with my lover, but keep them as a friend?", "How can I become a great rock star when I have zero rhythm?" or "How can I throw the world's greatest party ever?", Beth would love to answer your one-line questions or dilemmas in her fortnightly column. Please email them to beth.ditto@theguardian.com