Heard the one about the student who gets so drunk that he swallows his door key? Or about the undergraduate so pissed that he breaks into a stranger's home thinking it's his friend's? You have?
What about the one about the student who doesn't drink at all? Thought not.
It doesn't fit with the stereotype or the current hype about "binge-drinking youths", but there's now significant evidence to show more university students are turning teetotal than have done so for 10 years.
"I still go out clubbing and to parties," says Simon Pile, 22, a business studies student at Bournemouth University who hasn't touched alcohol since he was 17.
"But I'll just watch if others are playing drinking games. There are growing numbers of us here who don't drink."
Simon initially went teetotal because he drove, but he no longer has a car. It's now down to taste and money-saving. "I don't like beer and I'm not too fussed about alcopops," he says.
"Plus, I have my heart set on buying a house. The idea of going out, coming back, and finding £50 less in my wallet, without being able to remember what happened, doesn't sound like much of a night out."
Josh Dunbar, 19, says he's become an expert on pouring drinks into plants or toilets without his friends - who've just bought them for him - noticing.
"You do feel bad when they've just spent £2.50 on you," the second-year Bath University student admits. "I have been known to leave drinks on the side and deliberately forget about them, or to give them away," he says.
Occasional drinker
Josh describes himself as an occasional drinker, a rare breed for a player in one of the university's football teams. His Christian faith and the health risks associated with excessive alcohol have put him off drinking much.
"I have found it hard being sober when people are humiliating themselves and whistling at girls," he says. "You aren't part of the banter the next day and you can't identify with the social group in the way the heavy drinkers can."
But, Josh says, "it's becoming more socially acceptable not to drink huge amounts - or at all - at university".
This is precisely the conclusion of research just published, too. Dr Fiona Measham, a senior lecturer in criminology at Lancaster University, has scrutinised data on young people's drinking habits over five years. The figures came from the General Household Survey, the NHS and other sources.
She discovered the number of teetotallers aged between 16 and 24 is rising, while the number in this age bracket who drink frequently or to excess is falling.
Her research, which appears in the latest edition of Health Education Journal, shows that the proportion of men in this age range who drank 21 units a week or more - equivalent to two bottles of wine plus a pint of lager - fell to 27% in 2005 from 41% in 2000.
The proportion of women who drank 14 units a week or more - a bottle of wine and a pint of lager - dropped to 24% from 33% in the same period.
There are more teetotallers aged 11 to 17 now, too. The number who don't drink rose from 36% in 1990 to 46% in 2006.
Measham says: "There is evidence to show that, in recent years, this heavy sessional consumption by youth and young adults is starting to level off."
But those that do drink, drink more often and consume stronger brands of beer, cider, lager and spirits. "This suggests a polarisation of drinking patterns among young people into heavy drinkers and abstainers," she says.
"The 2000s could be characterised as the calm after the storm, in terms of young people's drinking. By and large, the millennium has seen the turning of the tide in terms of the practices and preferences of intoxication."
Dr Rachel Seabrook, research manager at the Institute of Alcohol Studies and on a panel of experts that advises the government on young people's drinking, agrees. "The number of adult abstainers has risen by a couple of percent each year for the last 10 years," she says. "More alcohol is going down fewer throats because those that do drink to excess, tend to drink more."
It may be becoming more socially acceptable to abstain, but it's still far from easy, a study to be published in the Journal of Business Research later this year says.
Researchers interviewed nine undergraduates who responded to an advert for students who do not drink alcohol. As it turned out, three were teetotallers, three were occasional drinkers and three were light drinkers.
Coping strategies
All had coping strategies for surviving socially in a culture of alcohol consumption, the study by academics at Lancaster University Management School found.
Some had developed strong personalities, so that others didn't notice their non-drinking. Others distanced themselves from the main social scene. Then there were those who assumed a particular role in their group, such as "the driver".
Dr Maria Piacentini, the report's main author, says: "They stage-manage their involvement and performance in the alcohol-drinking culture, illustrating the extent to which their non-consumption of alcohol informs their student experience generally. The majority struggle to maintain their anti-consumption stance while remaining a part of the student culture."
If it's such a struggle, why are more choosing to avoid alcohol?
One of the nine students in Piacentini's study, who can't be identified, says: "I took the conscious decision [only to drink lightly] because I'm coming into employment soon, and I just wanted to be more motivated. I find drinking and studying not compatible. I find it more enjoyable to get up and go to the gym in the morning and only have a coke or something on a night out."
Another says: "I don't have all these specific reasons why, it just happened to work out that way. I just don't see the point of drinking large quantities."
Others had seen the consequences of alcoholism, their health had suffered from drinking too much, or they abstained for religious or cultural reasons.
"We don't really know why students are giving up drink or drinking less," says Measham. Could it simply be that in the late 1980s and early 1990s ecstasy was all the rage, in the mid-1990s it was alcohol, and now it's something else? It might be that today's generation of students are trying to distinguish themselves "pharmacologically" from their predecessors, Measham says.
Could it simply be that in the late 1980s and early 1990s ecstasy was all the rage, in the mid-1990s it was alcohol, and now it's something else?
Britain's growing population of minority ethnic and religious groups has helped to lower levels of alcohol consumption. But Measham says this is unlikely to explain why young people are becoming polarised into the teetotallers and big boozers.
The increased corporate responsibility of the drinks industry may be a factor. Since January, the drinks industry body, the Portman group, has revised its code of practice. The British Beer and Pub Association has done the same. The naming, packaging and merchandising of alcoholic drinks can't specifically target under-18s.
It might also have something to do with young people having less private social space, suggests Measham. They often live at home into adulthood, and are subjected to more surveillance on the streets.
Josh thinks it might be a result of an ever-increasing pool of graduates trying to prove themselves worthy of top jobs. "Everybody gets a degree now, so you have to make sure you have a 2:1, a first or a masters. There's a lot of competition."
The government will no doubt claim some success for this turning tide in intoxication. Yesterday it launched its Youth Alcohol Action Plan to reduce teenage binge drinking in parks, at bus stops and in shopping areas.
Some universities have cottoned on to the rise of student teetotallers and are doing their best for them. Bournemouth University student union gives students who are driving a wrist band that entitles them to free soft drinks all night.
In March, 50 student unions were praised by the National Union of Students for their commitment to a safe and responsible night out at its Best Bar None awards.
But the teetotal student will continue to go unnoticed and the stereotype of the boozer will remain for as long as the public hears of tragedies like that at Exeter University last November.
Fresher Gavin Britton, 18, drank himself to death taking part in a drinking initiation for the golf society that involved downing a cocktail of pure spirits.
He was violently sick after the challenge, part of a three-hour pub crawl in his first month of university.
