On the otherwise fairly mediocre comedy sketch show Smack the Pony, there was a great skit in which two office-bound women tried to outdo each other by drinking from increasingly large vessels of water, graduating from the usual mini bottles to giant 1.5-litre versions before throwing their bladders to the wind and swigging directly from the water cooler.

Some people might find it odd that this sketch has so stuck in my head, several years since I last saw it. None of those people would be my friends or family. My kitchen floor is almost entirely taken up with six-packs of 1.5 litre bottles of water, making for a rather nifty obstacle course that is a constant source of exasperation to all who dare enter it, save my own waterlogged self. Even more amusing, apparently, is the mini bottle of water permanently upon my person when I go out at night, thereby giving me the appearance of an E'd up clubber circa 1995.

When I was at school people used to buy bottles of water if they were ill or athletes. Now, thanks to the health lobby, a lack of decent healthy alternatives and a general realisation of the convenience, there is not a desk in my office that is not littered with some kind of H2O paraphernalia and, although my colleagues are all, of course, very fit, I don't think sitting in a swivel chair all day qualifies anyone for David Beckham status.

Some of us, though, are more aquaholically inclined than others. Nigella Lawson has confessed to hoarding up to six mini bottles of Evian every night by her bed. (Get a jug! - Ed.) Nice try, Nigey, but I can beat you by one or two on a daily basis.

Yes, I do know the theory that the more you drink, the more you need. But it's hard to give something up when you're constantly being told how healthy it is. OK, you're only supposed to drink about 1.5 litres a day, but surely beating a statistic is a good thing, right? And I'll tell you something else I've learned from staring at the water bottles on my desk: Evian spelt backwards reads "naive".