Mavis has been terribly poorly with depression for months. What a ghastly illness. And the treatment on offer isn't very impressive: "Keep taking the pills." But they didn't work. "Keep taking the next lot of pills." This latest lot apparently might increase her suicidal feelings and desire to self-harm. Here she was, trying to hang on because of her children and because all her friends were desperately nagging her to keep going, and just as she felt she could barely tolerate living a minute longer, she is given pills that might make her feel worse.
"They all say that on the leaflet," said the consultant. No, they don't. The last lot didn't.
"Yes, they do. Keep taking the pills. And have some cognitive behavioural therapy." Mavis had to pay for it herself, because, as it is quick and cheap, all the NHS practitioners are madly busy. But she sprang at the opportunity - or rather crawled at it, because she could hardly move across her kitchen.
The therapist told her to imagine a gremlin on her shoulder. She should then ignore him, he would disappear, and she should challenge her negative thoughts a lot. It didn't work. Mavis still woke up pierced by agonising feelings of terror and dread. A blobby community psychiatric nurse visited Mavis every week and stared at her in a concerned way. Why send a blob to perk up a blob? Mavis even attended day hospital for the elderly once a week, playing bingo or discussing the local newspaper headlines. None of it tempted her back into life.
Rosemary was once ordered to try CBT on young prisoners in a women's slammer. It was called "anger management". What a tall order. Who wouldn't be angry, locked up for usually non-violent bugger-all? But they did like the role-playing, especially being the person in a temper, or the person roaring and swearing at the bad- tempered person. Then they all wrote "fuck off" and "bollocks" on the forms requesting their opinions. They should have ticked some boxes, but couldn't understand the questions.
Meanwhile, Mavis has recovered after nearly five months of pills. She would advise people not to go mad in north London. Services are rather stretched. At least the CBT craze has dredged up some attention for the growing hordes of mentally ill, and it works for some of them, if they're not too poorly and find a decent practitioner and do their homework. But as for the rest ...
