Now that the season to be jolly is drawing to a close, the season to take a jolly good hard look in the mirror can finally begin. On average, each of us have put on an extra 2kg (5lbs) this season, getting through an embarrassing 6,000 calories on Christmas day itself. That's three times more calories than the 2,000 that women require daily. So it's hardly surprising that, when between 40% and 45% of us make new year's resolutions, most of us opt for eating less and exercising more.

Is it worth it though? Some 25% of resolutions will be broken by the end of this first week. If you can resist those chocolates or cigarettes for the next few days, however, your chances definitely do improve: 95% of people who can beat the first week will keep going. And only a further 10% will succumb to the lure of the lazy lie-in or the quick drink before the end of the first month. But sure enough, one by one, life beats down those good intentions; by summer, I'm afraid, only 46% of new year resolvers will still be holding firm.

All this self-improvement worries me though. Without wishing to cast gloom on the no doubt laudable drive for bettering one's lot, self-improvement is statistically a dangerous thing. Top of the pile is not eating enough, which has a 100% chance of resulting in death. Admittedly, everything that lives has a 100% chance of death, but there's surely no reason to accelerate it?

Exercise, on the other hand, is supposed to increase longevity; but, on average, using leisure equipment contributes to more than 696,000 hospital visits a year, compared with only 216 accidents caused by bottle openers. I think those figures speak for themselves.

All of which suggests that you shouldn't ignore the accident statistics when choosing your new year's resolutions. There are about 5.5m accidents requiring hospitalisation every year, and the population at the last census was clocked at 58,789,194, so how can you avoid becoming one of the 9% of the population who can expect a significant injury this year? Well, by far the most accidents happen in the home (at least 38%), so taking up DIY is probably not a good resolution to make. Outdoor activities at home account for a further 9% of accidents, so clearly the best idea is to avoid the home altogether, as much as possible. Good news for all those going back to work after the treacherous holiday season!

Leisure pastimes, including hobbies, account for about 18% of accidents, sport produces another 13%, and even education - education! - accounts for 3% of visits to the hospital. By far the safest general activity, with a paltry 1% of injuries, turns out to be shopping. Given that the sales this year are witnessing discounts of up to 80%, you never needed a better excuse. The statistics have spoken: this year, take up a new year's resolution that, for once, you know you won't give up.