In the Warm Midwinter
In the warm midwinter
Travellers made moan
Earth was under water
Trees were overblown
Rain had fallen
Rain on rain
Rain on rain on rain
In the warm midwinter
With no trains.
To the climate conference
The world's great leaders came
They struggled night and day to
Find someone else to blame
After nigh a fortnight
These earnest men agreed:
Though the world is dying they would
Pay no heed.
Bangladesh will founder
Africa will starve
Goodbye Polynesia
Watch the icesheets calve
Even here in Britain
Our destiny is plain:
All the future holds for us is
Endless rain.
George Monbiot
Once in Johnny Prescott's City
Once in Johnny Prescott's city
Was the hope of streets so fair
Carfree roads and loads of buses
Railways cheap, congestion rare
Four years on that dream's in tatters
Cars for all is still what matters
Gus McDonald comes with bypass
trunk road upgrades, airports new
Loads more shops and sheds and houses
Need good land on which to spew
Concrete is a human right
Developers must all have sites
Michael Meacher keeps his head down
Knows full well this makes no sense.
It must impact on plant and climate,
Must degrade environments.
This is not what we promised you
Compromise is what we do
Andrew Simon
Good John Prescott
Good John Prescott last looked out
Through his two-jags window
Troubles he saw all about
But nothing worried him though.
Trains are knackered, roads are worse
Country's under water
Tabloid headlines are his curse
They give him no quarter
Off he totters to The Hague
(Not William, the one in 'Olland)
And though the language is so vague
Good John is on a roll, and
Summut to do with planting trees
Pollution and the climate
"I'll talk, luv, you make the teas
Macho man? Not moi, mate."
Paul Evans
God Rest Ye Multinationals
God rest ye multinationals
Let nothing you dismay
The WTO is not reformed
and Gats is on its way
And Mr Bush is coming in
He'll see that we're OK!
Oh tidings of mon-opo-lies
Oh tidings of do as-you-please!
We set trade rules to suit ourselves,
Ignore the poverty
We suffer no protection
By Chads or Malawis
We love indebted nations
But let's keep them on their knees
Oh tidings of mon-opo-lies
Oh tidings of do as-you-please
Environmental standards?
We couldn't give a dam.
Investment in economies?
Now that we understand.
So subsidise our movements
While we take your land
Oh tidings of mon-opo-lies
Oh tidings of do as-you-please
We have the ear of governments
We love democracies
They pay for us to set up shop
With sweeteners and with fees
And then we bugger offwards
And do just as we please
Oh tidings of mon-opolies
Oh tidings of do as-you-please
Ralph Nader's just a pile of pants
These protests just a fad
Naomi Klein is out to lunch
And Monbiot's quite mad
The Boveistes are all in jail
Reclaim the Streets are sad
Oh tidings of mon-opolies
Oh tidings of do as-you-please
John Vidal
We Love Thee White Paper
Away in a manger
No crib for its bed
The Rural White Paper
Lays down its sweet head
The stars in the bright sky
Nowhere to be seen
Above affordable housing
The new road lights gleam
We'll roam where we want to
And work on the Net
Our wildlife kept safely
In theme parks, no sweat
Buy chips from the post office
Trains run on time
There's no rural poverty
No rural crime
We love thee White Paper,
Under thy guiding hand
The countryside's sorted
So get off my land.
Paul Evans
Santa Straw is Coming to Town
You better watch out
While he's on the pry
Better not shout
I'm telling you why
Santa Straw is sneaking around
He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
Santa Straw is sneaking around
He sees you when you're toking
He knows when you're online
He'll find out if you're bad or good
And levy instant fines
He really isn't joking
If you're a refugee
You'll go back when he says you should
'Til then you'll work for free
He loves to go round poking
His nose in your affairs
Official secrets must be good
But private ones he shares
You should live in Woking
Get married, go to church
Since if you live in Peckham
He'll leave you in the lurch
You better watch out!
While he's on the pry
Better not shout
I'm telling you why
Santa Straw is sneaking around
Santa Straw is sneaking around
Ian Wilmore
While shepherds watched
While shepherds watched their subsidies
Get swallowed by the bank
The Angel of the Lord came down
And said this is all rank
If sheep were gone from these here hills
The forests would return
And soothe the waters raging down
The country brooks and burns
It's raining cats and dogs all right,
The worst we've ever known.
Cities flooded, fields are drowned
We're soaked right to the bone.
The year began with mighty dread
The millennium bug would hit.
Instead it's Nature kicked our bum
And now we're in the ****
Paul Evans
Ding Dong Merrily
Ding dong, verily The Hague
Is riven by carbon trading.
Planting trees to save the sky
Won't stop our hopes from fading.
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria,
John Prescott in extremis.
A touch of your machismo
Leaves Dom'nique feeling stung-en,
And Loy a pie in his eye-o
By angry lady swungen.
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria,
John Prescott in extremis
Caspar Henderson
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Said the newsman to the camera crew,
Do you see what I see?
Come to save the talks, charging through
Do you see what I see?
Prescott, Prescott on a mercy trip
In a suit the size of a ship,
In a suit the size of a ship.
Said the camera crew to the diplomat
Do you hear what we hear?
Howls of US stooge! and Sexist rat!
Do you hear what we hear?
A full and frank exchange of views
Prescott versus Madame Voynet,
Prescott versus Madame Voynet
Said the diplomat to Mr Pronk,
Do you know what I think?
US sinks could leave a nasty stink
Do you know what I think?
A sandbag, a sandbag, that will set the tone
It will melt Frank Loy's heart of stone
It will melt Frank Loy's heart of stone
Said Pronk to the people everywhere
Listen to what I say!
Look at the sandbag, people everywhere,
Listen to what I say!
The sandbag's a symbol of our climate fight
It will bring us laughter and light,
It will bring us laughter and light.
Said the people back in a mighty shout
Do you see what we see?
Prescott's storming out, storming out
Do you see what we see?
Shouting gutted, wobbling left and right
Frankly it's not a happy sight
Frankly, it's not a happy sight
Ian Wilmore
