I'm getting there. Working in the service industry you learn how important listening is to making someone happy. In this job you may have to be subservient. You're a server, and that can be awful when you want to dominate the world. I'm a songwriter and I could sing them a hell of a tune, but there's no point getting uppity because you've served eggs that are too hard.

I have to smile because people will complain if I don't. If I smile long enough it lifts my mood. Some servers miss out on that. Their mood gets in the way of work. If you let the people who don't tip affect you, you'll never get the ones who do.

My family make me happy, though it's a shame they're not together. My father is doing well; remarried, in love, and financially secure. It happened quite late for him. I see that and it gives me patience. I'm swimming through treacle. You've just got to assume you'll end up where you're headed. Trouble is, for some people that's the gutter. Fine. You might have fucked it all up at 16, but you can't spend time worrying about it.

I can't stay in a place that makes me miserable. I need to keep moving. After this amount of hard work, success as a musician will be appreciated when I get there. But where is 'there'? When will I know I've attained it? I should have been a plumber. Happiness would have been more straightforward. Except for the U-bend, of course.