Cobblestones in the news? Let me guess - is someone leaving Coronation Street?
Probably, but that's not it.

Is this about those unsafe cobbles in Market Place in Haltwhistle, Northumberland?
No. And stop Googling.

Some of the stone sets have worked loose.
This is about cobblestones being good for your health.

Try telling that to the people of Haltwhistle.
Apparently, walking on cobblestones lowers blood pressure and improves balance.

Not in Haltwhistle. "I saw two people nearly go over on it," says town council chairman Alan Sharp. "This issue needs to be sorted, it is not safe."
I will not allow you to hijack this column with regional news items gleaned from the internet.

Go on then, tell me your brilliant cobblestone story.
Researchers launched a study into the health-giving properties of cobblestones in the elderly, after seeing people walk over cobbles in China, where there is a long tradition of cobble-walking.

And?
A group of people over 60 who walked on cobbles for half an hour a day for four months had a measurable drop in blood pressure, unlike a control group that walked on a flat surface.

Is that interesting?
"It's very provocative," says Dr David Ellison of Oregon Health & Science University.

He ought to get out more.
In China they believe that walking on cobbles stimulates acupoints in the feet.

They're probably going to cobble my gym now.
Scientists think the uneven surface may stimulate the inner ear to improve balance.

Hey look, someone really is leaving Coronation Street.
I'll let you get back to Google.

Do say:
"The road to good health is paved with a specially designed mat that simulates the type of rounded, river-rock cobblestones commonly found in China."

Don't say:
"Does it work if you drive over them?"