I have ME and I feel it's ruining my life. When I was initially diagnosed with it I presumed I'd get over it quite quickly, but three years on I am incredibly tired, find it hard to sleep and also have dizzy spells, as well as regular flu-like symptoms. Friends and family were very supportive at first, but they have become increasingly bored with my condition. I feel they now don't really believe me when I try to tell them how exhausted I am. My friends no longer ask me out as they presume that I will say no, and my boyfriend of five years has finished with me because he said we don't do anything. I'm 26 and should be having loads of fun, but life is passing me by. Please help, I'm getting desperate.

The consultant
Anthony Pinching

One in 250 people have ME and GPs are increasingly able to diagnose and treat it. If you are still struggling three years on from diagnosis, you could be referred to (or your GP get advice from) a consultant, who can reassess diagnosis, check for other conditions and review the treatment strategy. There is a 'tool box' available to clinicians to address things that may be interfering with recovery - eg low self-esteem and depression - and your dizzy spells could also be reassessed. Your GP or a specialist can discuss options available to you, which include 'pacing', whereby you carefully manage activity (physical, mental and emotional) and rest, to stabilise and then gradually increase your energy; medications for problems with sleep, pain and mood; complementary therapies, or dietary changes; and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, if one is struggling to adjust to illness and its impact. And do try to stay positive.

· Professor Anthony Pinching is a consultant clinical immunologist in Cornwall

The patient
Katie Moudry

I'm 24 and have had ME since I was 13, so I have been through much of what you describe. At school I felt betrayed by some friends who I felt gave up on me. I still suffer pain in my legs, flu-like symptoms and overwhelming tiredness. I can't work, and need at least 10 hours' sleep a night. But in some ways I am more at peace now than I was in my teens. I think the most important thing you can do is come to terms with ME, know your limits and live within them. Talk to your GP and access help from social services. I now have a carer who helps me with washing and dressing and cooking meals, which has made a big difference to my life. I also do some voluntary work and get out and about using an electric mobility scooter. I've made friends with others with ME through support groups - which is immensely comforting. You may eventually beat ME, but until that happens, try to focus on what you can do in life, not what you can't.

· Katie Moudry, from Exeter, has had ME for 11 years. katiemoudry@hotmail.com

The charity expert

Trish Taylor

You're not alone. The World Health Organisation has recognised ME as a serious and physical illness, but to friends and family you may look quite 'normal'. Action for ME is campaigning for more research into the illness, and we can put you in touch with people who know what it's like to have ME. Our volunteer support line is open 11am-1pm, Tuesday to Friday, or 6.30-8.30pm Mondays (0845 123 2314). We have 8,000 members who know how you're feeling, and our magazine has a members' section for those who are looking for friends or who want to share experiences. Email interaction@afme.org.uk, marking your message 'noticeboard', or write to Action for ME, 38 Victoria Street, Bristol BS1 6BY. Our booklet on pacing can help you to balance activity and rest and work towards recovery. Two other booklets, Facts and Figures and All About Me, may help educate your family and friends. Download them at www.afme.org.uk or call 0845 123 2380.

· Trish Taylor is chief executive of Action for ME

· If you have a question for our experts, email health@observer.co.uk