Paul McKenna has the face of a turtle and the speech and gestures of an end-of-the-pier magician. But he has built up a squazillion-pound business because He Can Make You Thin. That is why his new US show, broadcast here on Living, is called Paul McKenna: I Can Make You Thin. I want to be thin. Paul promises the studio audience "and everyone at home" that there are just four simple rules to set us firmly on the path to thinnification.

Rule 1. When you are hungry, eat. Most diets, say McKenna and his undulating arms, tell you to starve yourself, sending your body into hibernation mode and making it even more difficult to shift those stubborn pounds. This conveniently ignores the fact that most diets haven't actually advocated starving yourself since the late 70s, but nobody contradicts him. Perhaps being fat makes you more polite. Rule 1 is quickly followed by even better news.

Rule 2. Eat what you want. McKenna urges us all to get rid of "any food that does not totally inspire you". This loosely translates as "anything you don't want to shovel down your throat in gut-rupturing quantities". This is, like, the total opposite of what most diets tell you. Is this guy, like, supercool or what?

Rule 3. Eat consciously. This means pay attention while you're eating, so you realise when you're full. It initially foxed me, because so many of the audience look as if they do not stop eating while they are asleep, and I thought McKenna had come up with a canny way of halving their calorific intake at a stroke.

Rule 4. When you think you are full, stop eating. This programme should be called "I can make you marginally less mindless and the rest will take care of itself."

So, here is the plan for 2009. Take a simple message - everything in moderation, say - add a dash of earnest flamboyance and find a pier. By 2012 I want you to have lost 60lbs and gained a business empire. Off you go.