Talking therapies are undoubtedly fashionable, but the way we value emotional health may not have changed as much as we think. In a stressful society, achieving a work life balance is tougher than ever, and pressures on women to have careers, families, relationships and an indispensible support network, can mount up. Although we may be more willing to seek help, 46% of women who took park in the ICM survey said they wouldn't talk about having counselling openly, suggesting that mental health problems, and seeking support for them, is still not viewed in the same way as physical issues.
"Mental health problems still have a significant stigma attached," says Cat O'Neill, services manager of Anxiety UK. "People worry that others will think they are incompetent or can't cope. They are scared of showing weakness, particularly in the highly competitive workplace."
O'Neill stresses that women's emotional health is as important today as it ever has been. "Recent reports show that anxiety disorders have increased by 13% in the past 15 years," she says. "Common issues that cause this are divorce, bereavement, work-related stress, financial insecurity, scare stories in the media, managing the work-life balance and choosing a career or family. We've also noticed an increased number of women calling with regard to debt, or worrying about missed mortgage payments."
Jim Phillips at the Expert Patients Programme Community Interest Company, says that women often struggle with mental health issues because they are so busy looking out for everyone else. "Women clearly value and worry about their mental and emotional wellbeing, and give it thought, but put their own needs second to those of family, and others around them. A common theme we hear is that women have no time for themselves, or space to talk about what affects them. Many do fear that if they talk about their feelings they will be judged or deemed a bad parent."
Eliza Meredith is a teacher at the Hoffman Institute and has her own psychotherapy practice. She says that increasing numbers of women do view their emotional self as something that needs to be nurtured. "We recognise that emotional health is fundamental to our physical and mental wellbeing. Many illnesses have been scientifically connected to unresolved emotional needs, so we ignore them at our peril.
"There's an expectation on women today to be considerable breadwinners, sexually desirable and creative mummies, but being at peace with who we are makes a challenging world an easier place to live in. Having self compassion allows us to be kind to ourselves and those we connect with in our lives."
Although she encourages women to take care of their emotional health, Cat O'Neill does sound a note of caution: "Everybody experiences ups and downs from time to time and people shouldn't become too preoccupied that there is something wrong with them. Many people with anxiety think they are losing their mind or losing control, which isn't the case."
The perfect antidote
Women are bombarded with images of perfection, and yet the ICM survey revealed that 58% of respondents are neither happy or unhappy with the way they look. Is ambivalence a healthy reaction to the pressures of the wider world, or something we need to worry about?
"Women hear messages about the importance of being attractive throughout their lives," says Carla Miller, life coach and founder of spacetobe.co.uk.
"It starts with fairy tales and is continued through TV shows, films and magazines. It's impossible to live up to and trying to reach this ideal can be a threat to your mental and physical wellbeing."
Miller says that while feeling ambivalent about self image is preferable to obsessing over perfection, a mediocre self-image can have a big effect on our emotional health. "Our self worth affects how we approach life and the results we get," she explains.
Hazel Davis, 33, agrees that image-related low self-esteem had a significant impact on her emotional health. "I was bullied at school due to my appearance," she recalls. "I was thick-set and called 'no neck', as well as being teased over my clothes.
I'd suffered terribly from low self esteem in my teens, but when I went to university I met people who helped me realise I wasn't hideous. My mental state altered radically once I started considering the possibility that I might actually be attractive."
"Many of us waste hours of our lives focusing on our flaws when we could have been out enjoying life instead," says Miller. "Acceptance of ourselves, flaws and all, is the key to enjoying life and having healthier relationships. If you focus on your good points, you're often a more positive person, attracting the right people and opportunities into your life."
