I have cancer and feel guilty for losing my libido

I am about to start a sixth course of chemotherapy. I haven’t wanted to have sex for two years, and I worry about neglecting my husband
  
  

Woman sitting on a bed
‘I feel I am letting him down.’ (Posed by model) Photograph: Robert Daly/Getty Images

I love my husband very much. We have been together for 30 years, married for 26. Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007, my libido has been in decline. Then, two-and-a-half years ago I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in my liver and I am about to start a sixth course of chemotherapy this week. My libido has been zero since 2012. I worry about neglecting my husband as we are only 49 and 50. It is not his fidelity that concerns me, more that he is young to be widowed and obviously has natural needs, and I feel I am letting him down.

• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments which appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments).

 

Leave a Comment

Required fields are marked *

*

*