Stuart Heritage 

Is it worth it? Urban Ninja

‘I did best at the Monkey Press in that I might have completed it with three months of solid training’
  
  

Worth it: urban ninja
Illustration: Son of Alan for the Guardian Photograph: Son of Alan for the Guardian

What is it? There’s a Saturday evening TV show called Ninja Warrior, on which abnormally fit human beings put themselves through an abnormally punishing obstacle course. Inspired by that, Urban Ninja has been set up to allow the public to try their hand at something similar.

How much does it cost? £40 for two hours on the course.

What does it promise? A chance to show off your agility and upper body strength in a relatively extreme way. Chillingly, organisers claim that the course has a 1% success rate.

What’s it actually like? In a word, impossible. I attended a trial event before Urban Ninja’s countrywide summer tour, containing its seven hardest obstacles. Of these, I completed precisely zero. The rope climb was too high – as was the one where you have to use your fingertips to traverse a plank of wood that’s been nailed to a board four metres in the air – and the Ninja Warrior-style curved wall was also a write-off. I did best at the Monkey Press, where you ping yourself on a trampoline and jam your hands and feet against two walls, in that I might have completed it with three months of solid training. Others were better than me, but they were dedicated parkour and callisthenics enthusiasts, and even they found it hard going. Easier obstacles are promised for the full events, thankfully.

Best and worst bit Even though I was terrible at all of it, Urban Ninja is huge amounts of fun. However, I’m really not overstating how hard it is. At all.

Is it worth it? Only if you’re much, much fitter than me.

 

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