Britain is a scary place for a woman in her 30s, especially if she hasn't had children yet or hasn't thought of having any, out of choice or just forgetfulness. Week after week, broadsheets and tabloids tell her that she's facing an "infertility time bomb", "sticking her head in the sand" and "taking a terrible gamble". She is constantly lectured: she should pay for a "fertility MoT" as soon as possible, and if she thinks she can just resort to IVF to conceive, she's deluding herself, potentially facing physical, emotional and financial ruin.
The broadsheets' endless gloomy reports and interviews with frowning British obstetricians, together with the tabloids' horror hormonal stories about serial miscarriages and Dickensian tales of "if I knew then what I know now" from childless menopausal women seem to all have but one aim: put an almighty fear in women. All this scaremongering in the country with the highest teenage pregnancy and abortion rates in Europe! British women can never win, it seems. They're either out of their wits procreating too early, using abortion irresponsibly, or have simply lost it by leaving motherhood too late.
For British women, the nightmare doesn't end here though. Once she is pregnant, she has to go through other diktats: she should absolutely not eat raw food, avoid vegetables and fruits at all costs unless cooked to a compote pulp; run away from camembert, brie and mayonnaise, keep to cheddar only; forget once and for all about shellfish and not even dream of having a drop of claret. If she doesn't do as she is told, she's just mentally deficient – worse she is immoral. Then, when she has successfully given birth and stayed no more than a few hours at the maternity clinic, in a Victorian ward with a dozen other mothers with screaming infants, she's sent back home with the absolute order to breastfeed but without having been shown how.
Au revoir and good luck. No wonder the UK has a mediocre fertility rate. A country like Britain cannot just scare and boss women around constantly without pulling its act together. Does it want more children? Just implement a pro-natality policy and let women make love in peace. France is now reaping the seeds of such policy inaugurated 25 years ago. With the highest fertility rate in Europe, alongside Ireland, an ever stronger contingent of French women in their late 30s deliver baby after baby without a care in the world. There couldn't be a stronger contrast.
To start with, a majority of French teenagers seem to prefer carefree gallivanting over risqué promiscuity: they are three times less likely to become parents in their teens than their British friends. Perhaps, unlike British teenagers, they think before they copulate, or at least they remain sober – they know it's better for their libido. Or they may simply choose to dedicate their early adolescent years to perfecting the art of gazing and French-kissing before they move on to something deeper.
Besides, the French media don't force-feed female readers with sensationalist stories about their biological clock ticking at TGV speed. Gynaecologists offer constant support and monitoring, and even a course of six IVF treatments for free if necessary.
Once pregnant, women are advised which food should be consumed carefully, but nobody raises an eyebrow when they order oysters or a glass of wine. They spend a week at the maternity clinic, usually in individual rooms, with newborns waking up nurses at night rather than their mothers, who are allowed to rest for the first few nights.
If women don't want to breastfeed, nobody is going to point a finger at them but if they do, they'll be taught how to with a specialised nurse visiting them at home to check on their progress.
And if this wasn't enough, tax incentives and benefits abound to make French families' lives more pleasant. For instance, families with three children travel half-price on trains and other public transport until the last child reaches the age of 18.
It is all too easy to explain these national differences by way of culture.Some of you will reply with a vengeful smirk that France soon will not be able to afford what they jealously consider to be luxurious pampering. The choices a society makes are less a question of economics than one of political will.
If you think that it is important for Britain not to treat women in their 30s like schoolgirls, then give them the means to be responsible, relaxed and informed citizens, and stop scaring them first into thinking one thing – that having babies too early will ruin your life – before inducing the second panic: have babies quick or else it will ruin your life.
