What is the most unflattering description of a town in literature?

Surely it's Bill Bryson's description of Blackpool in Notes From a Small Island: "On Friday and Saturday nights it has more public toilets than anywhere else in Britain; elsewhere they are called doorways."

Julia Taylor, Hastings

George Orwell had a bit of a downer on Sheffield in The Road to Wigan Pier: "It has a population of half a million and it contains fewer decent buildings than the average East Anglian village of five hundred. And the stench! If at rare moments you stop smelling sulphur it is because you have begun smelling gas. Even the shallow river that runs through the town is usually bright yellow with some chemical or other."

Barry Wright, Sheffield

In The Condition of the Working Class, Friedrich Engels' description of the town I was born in is fairly unflattering: "Among the worst of these towns after Preston and Oldham is Bolton, 11 miles north-west of Manchester. It has, so far as I have been able to observe in my repeated visits, but one main street, a very dirty one, Deansgate, which serves as a market, and is even in the finest weather a dark, unattractive hole, in spite of the fact that, except for the factories, its sides are formed by low one and two-storied houses.

"Here, as everywhere, the older part of the town is especially ruinous and miserable. A dark-coloured body of water, which leaves the beholder in doubt whether it is a brook or a long string of stagnant puddles, flows through the town and contributes its share to the total pollution of the air, by no means pure without it."

Pat Bleasdale, Moss Side, Manchester

It's got to be Philip Larkin's Coventry: "nothing, like something, happens anywhere".

lafranglaise

Is Martin Richards trying to find something to take the sting out of Dickens's verdict on his home town? "If any one were to ask me what in my opinion was the dullest and most stupid spot on the face of the Earth, I should decidedly say Chelmsford." As another Chelmsfordian, I've always been quite proud that the town even gets a mention in Dickens's correspondence. Better to be infamous than insignificant!

freia

Since turning 50, I've found that without a post-prandial nap I feel weary and cannot concentrate; but after as little as two minutes' sleep I'm completely restored. What on earth happens in those two minutes?

This also happens to me, and has done since my mid 20s. Today, for instance, I timed myself. I felt myself becoming drowsy, sorted out the stopwatch on my phone, pressed Go, settled down to sleep, and woke 4 min 47 sec later totally refreshed. It still baffles me after many years. This 4:47 includes the time it takes me to think: "This is ridiculous, it'll never work", and other related and unrelated thoughts.

As I write this it's about an hour and a half later and I feel great, almost euphoric. Happens every time.

AnnKittenplan

It's a system reboot. During the morning, ageing equipment increasingly struggles to process masses of new information. Various applications now refuse to close properly when tasks are completed, instigating memory leaks that clog up the performance of newly launched programs, resulting in an increased sluggishness that impedes performance. Once this approaches a critical level, System Admin waits until you're sitting down and not moving before instigating an emergency shutdown and restart. Usually, the first inkling of this is jerking up with a start and then a bemused "What just happened?", which signifies successfully logging back on.

Phil Egner, Braunton, North Devon

Is Neil Sedaka's "Oh Carol/I am but a fool/Darling I love you/Though you treat me cruel" the worst-ever rhyme in a popular song?

Gilbert O'Sullivan's We Will has a great line: "Take off your shoes/the both of you's".

Pam Rowlands, Stoke-on-Trent,

I can't believe nobody has put forward Gang Starr's "I can excel real well/ like a Gazelle". Or Roots Manuva's, "I see clearer than most/I sit here contending with this cheese on toast", although I suspect that's knowingly bad from Rodney.

Kieron Hayes, Coventry

For me this pile wins by a mile, from Riders on the Storm by The Doors: "There's a killer on the road/His brain is squirming like a toad." Do brains or toads "squirm"?

Phil O'Shea , London NW10

Surely, Surely the title must go to Marc Bolan: "Deborah, You look like a Zebra." Surely.

coylum

As a subsection of worst pop rhymes, may I suggest worst rock similes? I'll start it off with: "She had the face of an angel, smiling with sin/The body of Venus with arms" by AC/DC.

denisthegingercat

Any answers

We know about the introduction of potatoes and tobacco to Europe, but whom do we thank for the introduction of chocolate?

Brian Robinson, Brentwood, Essex

What do members of the royal family give each other for Christmas – or is it a state secret?

Janet Turner, Frome, Somerset

Who discovered clams are happy, and how? And why aren't cockles?

Percy Barber, Ontario, Canada

• Post your questions and answers below or email nq@theguardian.com (please include name, address and phone number).