Name: Unsick days.
Age: Brand new.
Appearance: Confusingly altruistic.
I like the sound of this, provided that an unsick day means I can take time off work when I’m not sick. That’s right! That’s exactly what an unsick day is!
Amazing! I already know how I’m going to spend mine. Does it involve going for routine medical and dental appointments?
Well, I’d been planning to spend a lot of it eating takeaways and watching Judge Rinder. Then you’ve fundamentally misjudged the notion of an unsick day. It’s specifically a day on which workers can preventatively go and get themselves seen to.
Really? I haven’t seen a dentist in 13 years because my boss would kick off if I took an afternoon off work. That’s exactly what an unsick day is for. It’s a day when you’re encouraged to see a dentist, so you don’t have to take six months off when your jaw starts rotting two years from now, which it definitely will.
How thoughtful. I know. It’s the brainchild of American healthcare scheduling service Zocdoc, who ...
Oh, I get it, this is a publicity stunt. Apparently not. Apparently companies such as Virgin Hotels and Foursquare have agreed to sign up to the scheme from next year.
What are the benefits? Better health, obviously, and the overwhelming morale boost that comes from knowing that your boss isn’t a cackling Victorian workhouse supervisor determined to wring every last ounce of productivity from you before watching you drop dead from exhaustion.
Sounds great! When do we get unsick days over here? Well, don’t hold your breath.
Why? Have you tried getting a doctor’s appointment for a non-emergency lately? My local surgery is rammed until the middle of 2023.
Surely, we could still benefit from some sort of unsick day? I mean, perhaps there could be a day where you get to stay at home and Google the symptoms of that rash on your arm until you become convinced that you’ve contracted a rare form of penis cancer.
Well, sure, if it gets me a day off work. You’re right. I demand an unsick day!
Do say: “Hi, doc! There’s nothing wrong with me, but here I am.”
Don’t say: “This won’t put any more undue strain on the NHS, will it?”
