New Year resolutions are made in the hope this year will be different, we’ll have a new start, ditch habits that have been holding us back and take up those that will lead to a happier, healthier life. All too often, though, they have been scuppered by 3 January. But not always. We asked readers about the resolutions they managed to keep in 2017.
Ros, London: ‘I wanted to exercise more and at 71 I feel fitter and stronger than I did 10 years ago’
At the beginning of 2017 I decided to exercise more, and chose a variety of physical activities that I could fit around my day. I walked more – to the shops, for instance, and up the escalators; I played tennis, which added a social element; I went swimming with the grandchildren or friends at the lido and booked a swimming holiday as an extra incentive; I also went to the gym when the weather was bad to give me extra stamina. A choice of activities has meant there is always something to do that suits my mood and the time available, and I wear a monitoring wristband that shows me, satisfyingly, that most days I manage the suggested 10,000 steps.
I want to be fit to do whatever I feel like, have fun and enjoy what life has to offer and, being single, be able to manage on my own if necessary. I have improved my social life and feel part of my wider community, and I can wear a size 10 and am happy with the way I look – without sounding too smug, I hope! At 71, I feel fitter and stronger than I did 10 years ago, and possibly ever. For 2018, I’d like to keep doing all this, and come up with another goal – perhaps sea swimming, for longer distances.
Anne, 41, Manchester: ‘I’d pressed the self-destruct button one too many times and I knew therapy was the last option’
Nothing else could go wrong. My marriage seemed over, I was drinking far too much and I’d pressed the self-destruct button one too many times. I knew therapy was the only option left. It was pure determination to get better that carried me through the year. Friendships, my marriage and fear of returning to the person I had been motivated me to continue even through the hardest and darkest moments.
A year on and I am much happier. I have changed as a person and my mental health no longer manages me; I manage it. I was scared of facing the reality of life without a bottle of red wine most days, and of life without the close relationship I had made with the wrong person – a relationship that almost destroyed my marriage. My complicated and abusive childhood had led to buried memories that came out as my children reached a similar age. Counselling made me see it wasn’t my fault that I was abused. I feel grateful to have been able to talk to someone independent, who could point out honestly what was in my control. I then took control back. My marriage and my family are happy again. I respect the person I see in the mirror and I like her, and am grateful that I was strong enough to continue with the counselling even when it seemed hardly worth carrying on.
In 2018 I will continue to manage my mental health, and I will start to exercise, too. When I run my first 10k for more than three years in May, I suspect I will cry when I cross the finish line because I know how far I have come and what I could have lost.
Chris, 50, Warsaw, Poland: ‘I quit smoking and my wellbeing and happiness have been off the scale’
In late 2016, I went to the doctor and she said that, after 30 years of smoking, I had chronic bronchitis. I did some research and realised I had to let go of a really silly addiction. To give myself every chance, I bought Allen Carr’s book, The Easy Way to Stop Smoking, which helped enormously.
I did have a particular kind of encouragement – ill health and a doctor’s warning can be strong motivators. Once I read Carr’s book, I didn’t feel the need for a cigarette. I realised that whether I suffered or not was a simple choice. It feels wrong to say it out loud, but I really do feel sorry for other smokers, because they do not need to smoke and it is only their choice.
For anyone thinking of giving up smoking, apart from getting Carr’s book, as with all addictions the first step is to admit that you are addicted, and to decide that you want a future where you are happy. I also offer my own exercise of the imagination: think that tomorrow your cough could worsen, or you will get a pain in your chest. You visit your doctor, who tells you that you have only weeks to live because you’ve smoked your whole life. That has happened to millions of people. Can you imagine their regret? I was lucky: I saw my doctor before it was too late and now I’m free of the poison, am healthy, saving a fortune and can’t imagine anything that couldever make me want to smoke another cigarette.
My general wellbeing and happiness have been off the scale this year, and the fact I might just live to see my grandchildren after all is a source of daily contentment.What will my resolution be this coming year? I have put on some weight (but not as much as I thought I would), so I should probably try to lose some of it in 2018.
Cassie, 25, London: ‘I cleared my debt as one day I’d like to buy my own place’
On New Year’s Day 2017, I made the resolution to get myself out of the £5,000 credit card debt I had accumulated. I made a strict budget which involved going back to basics: I wrote down my weekly allowance and limited spending to food, travel and the gym. I decided to eat out only once a week and stopped having takeaways. I stopped kidding myself I could afford everything London has to offer and set the ultimate goal of one day owning my own place. Twelve months later, I’m a step closer.
I felt tempted to spend more all the time – it was like having a little devil on my shoulder. I’m a real foodie, so I think it’s good I’ve been able to hold back from eating out all the time or trying new restaurants. I did keep my one holiday a year and treated myself while I was away. It was the same with Christmas – I wanted to enjoy being with my family and not have any restrictions on the time we spent together.
For anyone trying to save money, it’s good to come up with a weekly budget rather than a monthly one as otherwise you’ll spend the whole lot in one go. Decide what’s really important and don’t completely cut out something you know you can’t do without – you’ll just find another way around it.
Not feeling the strain of debt on my shoulders every day has given me a lot more hope and focus than I thought it would, and it’s actually made me feel quite proud. I think 2018 will be the year of savings.
Julia, 26, south-east England: ‘I made a list of what would make me happier, regardless of how ridiculous it sounded’
This year I decided to be happy. I wrote a list of everything that brings me down: my weight, smoking, a very stressful job and some of the people around me. Then I made a list of what would make me happier, regardless of how ridiculous it sounded at first: to lose weight, have longer hair, a new car, a better job, travelling, learning Italian, reading, playing the violin, dancing … Then I made a list of priorities. Number one was a new job. So I found a new role that paid more (and bought the car). As I’ve done more of the things I like, I’ve become happier this year, and I’m proud of myself for achieving so much.
I’ve lost 10kg and kept it off and I’ve taken 10 trips this year. In 2018, I think I’ll go through the same process: make a list of what I want, then prioritise.
Some names have been changed
