Like many comedians, Ruby Wax possesses an extraordinary flair for depicting the ugliness of modern life. In her latest book, she underscores the tragic irony that, in the western world, each of us will be approximately three times more likely to die from overeating than undereating, and far more likely to die by our own hands than those of terrorists. Indeed, we become our own worst enemies, unable to think clearly, entrapped in a state of what Wax has aptly described as “brain fog”, lamenting that the average human now devotes some 100 hours monthly to their smartphone – roughly 11 years of our lifespan.
As a mental health advocate, Wax does not judge others harshly; in fact, she often lambasts herself, revealing her foibles as a spouse, as a parent, and as a personality. And she does so in charming fashion, describing, for instance, her marriage: “I chose Ed because he had Grade-A sanity genes and I felt that would break the chain of thousands of years of Wax madness in one fell swoop.”
Expert in the art of public confession, Wax serves as a powerful model for the destigmatisation of psychological troubles. But unlike many humorists, Wax does not consider pungent self-mockery a sufficient remedy. Instead, she went to an ancient university – Oxford – earned a master’s degree in cognitive therapy, and has become a vibrant spokesperson for mental health matters. And her solution to the “brain fog” from which we suffer? Quite simply, Wax has championed the increasingly lionised philosophy of mindfulness, which the health app on my mobile phone defines, succinctly, as: “Quiet your mind. Relax your body. Be in the moment.” In recent years, mindfulness has garnered much enthusiasm, spawning a growing, although not entirely convincing, archive of empirical data.
Helping us to savour the preciousness of the moment, Wax has embraced mindfulness with passion, and I doubt that anyone will write a more engaging treatise on the subject. Nevertheless, much of the practical advice given here by the author (in conjunction with a kindly monk and a thoughtful neuroscientist) strikes one as rather pedestrian: myriad breathing and self-scrutinising exercises.
Wax’s manual, engagingly written and full of useful tips, will no doubt bring comfort to many people. But as someone who has worked in mental health for 40 years, I must express a strong concern. In my experience, one must already be quite healthy to benefit from a well‑intentioned self-help book. Prior to psychotherapy, more than half of my patients had already made valiant attempts to heal themselves with mindfulness, and yet continued to suffer from depression, anxiety and self-destructive lifestyles. For many of us in the psychological community, profound characterological changes occur only when individuals discuss the most troubling, shameful, and terrifying aspects of their biographies in the confidential presence of a professional.
Wax has expressed reservations about some of the talking therapies, caricaturing 125 years of psychoanalysis in only a few words: “Freud came along and said that everything was our fault and we should pay people like him to root out our id or wild-man tendencies.” I do wonder whether Wax has read Freud’s work closely. Freud never claimed the neuroses to be “our fault” and placed far greater emphasis on attributing the causes of our symptoms to early traumatic experiences inflicted by caregivers. One would hope for a more serious engagement with the progenitor of the modern psychological therapies.
Yet when Wax writes in semi-Freudian style – revealing her own hidden family tragedies – she offers us something profound. Indeed, at the very end of her book, she relates how her Austrian parents escaped from the Nazis, while many of her relatives ended up in concentration camps. This all too brief but highly compelling chapter alone justifies the purchase of this book. And this account moves us, because Wax narrates a deeply private, painful story in simple words, confident that many will listen with sensitivity.
We owe Ruby Wax a great debt of thanks for her important work in foregrounding mental health in public discourse. In this respect, she sits alongside such recent champions as Prince Harry and the Pope, who have spoken about their helpful experiences of talking therapy.
Whether mindfulness will ultimately prove to be the perfect panacea, one cannot say, but should that be the case, Wax will occupy a special place as its guardian angel.
Brett Kahr is a senior fellow at the Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology.
• How to Be Human: The Manual by Ruby Wax is published by Penguin (£14.99). To order a copy for £11.24 go to guardianbookshop.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over £10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of £1.99
