Ugh, navigating office politics is the worst. Every day millions of people are prevented from doing their jobs effectively because they have to be constantly on guard about what they do or say.

Getting on with colleagues all boils down to human emotion. I often think back to the scene in Clueless when Cher realises she’s getting bad grades because her teacher is lonely and miserable. Instead of trying to talk her teacher into giving her better grades, she hooks him up with another teacher; they get married and everyone gets good grades! It all comes back to people needing to feel appreciated and loved.

It can be painful when you don’t feel you’re part of the gang. I know what that’s like: when I worked for a creative agency, aged 23, I was one of just two women out of 20 staff. It was the only time in my life that I experienced outright sexism at work. (One of the account managers called me an “old bike” in an email. Nice.)

It could be someone who is constantly blocking your progress, or a negative person who always looks at the risks of a project and ruins the vibe. But the fact is, you can’t let yourself get pushed out, and you can’t let others bring you down.

If things get fractious, don’t react immediately – think about your colleague’s needs. What is causing them to lash out? There is usually some element of feeling unfulfilled. I would take them for lunch, or “bump into them” at the tea point, and start with: “It seems you’re a bit frustrated at…” giving them the space and time to air their issues.

Note that you don’t say: “I think you’re being… ” Be as objective as possible. Usually, if you give someone a little bit of extra attention, and listen to them, they will come round.

• Sharmadean Reid is the founder of WAH Nails and beautystack.com